


From the Time We're Young

by loveisallyouneed21



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Canon Compliant, Cuddles, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s05e11 Meet the Parents, Feelings, M/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-08
Updated: 2020-06-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:55:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24599392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loveisallyouneed21/pseuds/loveisallyouneed21
Summary: Patrick is struggling with guilt following the days after he comes out to his parents, but he isn’t sure why he feels guilty.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 4
Kudos: 86





	From the Time We're Young

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place after Season 5 Episode 11 (Meet the Parents) 
> 
> Title is from the song Secrets by Mary Lambert

Patrick has been trying to process the many different emotions he feels days after coming out to his parents, but the one emotion he can’t quite figure out is guilt. Patrick lays awake every night with intense guilt pooling in his stomach and he doesn’t know why. After several restless nights Patrick decides to ask David to help him figure out the cause of his guilt. 

David had noticed that Patrick was having difficulty falling asleep following his coming out, but didn’t want to press Patrick on what the issue was. David knew how complex coming out is and he didn’t want to add any pressure to Patrick. When Patrick comes to join David in bed one night, he admits that he has been struggling and wants David’s help. David feels relieved that he can help Patrick and happy that it was Patrick’s choice to receive help from David. 

“So, um. I’ve been having trouble falling asleep lately.” Patrick murmurs as he casts his gaze to the wall behind David. Out of the corner of his eye Patrick can see David nodding his head reassuringly. 

“I’ve just been feeling, um, so many things. And uh the feeling in particular that is keeping me up is…” Patrick pauses and begins twisting his fingers together. “Sorry, um, I feel guilty. And well, the main thing I was feeling guilty about, uh, on the day I came out was about you.”

Patrick waits as his words reverberate in his head before gasping and rushing to say, “That came out wrong. Sorry. I feel guilty about not telling you I wasn’t out to my parents. I know you said that you weren’t upset, but I’m upset at myself for not telling you sooner.”

Patrick quickly makes eye contact with David before looking away again. Several moments of silence pass before David hums quietly to himself. 

“Okay. First off you can stop apologizing, you never need to feel bad for telling me how you feel. Secondly I want to remind you that I mean it when I say I’m not upset.” David looks at Patrick and waits until Patrick responds by nodding his head. 

“Okay. Mhmm, I want to help you so can I ask a few questions?” David pauses again until he receives another head nod. 

“Have you ever felt this way before? You know guilt over not telling someone something?” David inquires. 

Patrick snorts before going, “Yeah. Most recently being the whole not telling you about Rachel situation.” 

David nods understandingly and takes note that he wasn’t around much to see how the guilt affected him last time. 

“Hmm. What is in common between not talking about both the Rachel situation and the coming out situation?” David is trying to be careful with his questions so he doesn’t upset Patrick further. 

Patrick groans in frustration. “I guess, err, that I didn’t want to talk about my feelings.” 

“Has that been an issue for you in the past? Bottling up your feelings?” David asks. 

Patrick exhales loudly, “I mean. I guess it has always just been a thing.” 

“What do you mean by always?” David questions. 

“I mean I kept a lot of shit from my parents, but all kids do that right?” Patrick looks at David desperately. 

“Mhmm. I definitely started doing that as a teenager, but you said always.” David points out. 

Patrick is trying not to get angry with himself for how much he is struggling to have this conversation. “I mean my mom has told me stories about how when I was upset as a kid I would just go to her and rest my head on her shoulder, but wouldn’t say anything. She also said if I was hurt I wouldn’t say anything until she noticed.” 

David nods taking in all this information, but waits to provide his input until he is sure Patrick is done talking. 

“I guess by always I mean like when I was in preschool and got a tack stuck in my knee I didn’t say anything. I waited all day until my mom picked me up and noticed that I was walking weird. Or there was the time when I joined boy scouts. I cut my finger by accident and wouldn’t tell anyone. When my mom found out she told me I couldn’t continue doing boy scouts if I wasn’t going to speak up when I was hurt.” Patrick is starting to panic towards the end of his statement, worrying that this wasn’t normal, that something was wrong with him. 

David sees the building anxiety in Patrick’s eyes and reaches out to hold his hands before responding. “Okay so this is kind of a pattern for you.”

Patrick starts to tremble and cry. “This is all my fault.” 

David gently gathers Patrick in his arms and starts slightly rocking them. Once David stops feeling his body shake from Patrick’s sobs, he pulls back just far enough to look at Patrick. 

“Honey none of this is your fault. This sounds like something you have always struggled with. You can’t control that.” David assures. 

Patrick struggles to accept his reassurances and tries to explain his thought process. “I have to try though. I have to try and break the pattern. I need to work on myself. I need to work on my communication with you.” 

Patrick looks at David to see him looking at the ceiling. He meets Patrick’s eyes and mutters, “Mhhh, well I definitely need to work on my communication with you too.”

Patrick looks at him puzzled before David goes on, “I mean with the Rachel thing, I could’ve followed up on our conversation about past relationships that we started at Stevie’s, but I didn’t. And with your parents, I shouldn’t have made assumptions.”

Patrick continues to look at David confused. David continues, “I guess what I’m saying is I can kind of understand where you are coming from. I don’t always share either because I’ve been burned too many times. I imagine it’s more difficult for you since this is all you’ve ever known, but I can empathize a little.”

Patrick still looks lost so David tries to be as clear as possible. “Okay in the future I am going to check in on you more often and follow up on stuff instead of just letting it slide.” 

Patrick eyes shine before sharing his goals, “I’m going to try harder in the future too. When I am thinking irrationally about how I have to keep things in, I’m going to try and remind myself that nothing I have shared with you so far has made you stop loving me. And maybe if I keep reminding myself of that then I will be able to at least let you know when something is going on. Even if I can’t explain it entirely, at least letting you know something is on my mind would be a start. And that is always the hardest part, getting started.” 

David smiles softly at Patrick, “Well you just did all of that love, how does it feel?” 

Patrick struggles a little for words before closing his eyes and answering honestly. “I feel seen, heard, understood, supported, loved and I don’t know how else to describe it but I feel warm inside.” 

Patrick feels David’s lips on his and melts into the kiss. After several moments of sweet kisses, David whispers against Patrick’s lips, “I’m so proud of you.” Before leaning back in for more tender kisses.

**Author's Note:**

> I felt the need to mention that I see the song Secrets by Mary Lambert as a goal for Patrick. That someday he won't feel the need to keep so many secrets. I know it’s a goal for me.


End file.
